Elizabeth Brooklyn Blair

The Mr. C Song

This is my new favorite Christmas song this year. I changed the names of all the cells involved….This song is dedicated to all my favorite peeps who are dealing with the messed up aftermath of Mr. C. If you feel like you need to burst, add another verse. Love to you all!

You’re a mean one, Mr. C.
You really are a heel.
You’re as cuddly as a cactus,
You’re as charming as an eel.
Mr. C.

You’re a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

You’re a monster, Mr. C
Your heart’s an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You’ve got garlic in your soul.
Mr. C.

I wouldn’t touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You’re a vile one, Mr. C
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crockodile.
Mr. C.

Given the choice between the two of you
I’d take the seasick crockodile.

You’re a foul one, Mr. C.
You’re a nasty, wasty skunk.
You’re heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. C.

The three words that best describe you, are as follows, and I quote:
“STINK, STANK, STUNK!”

You’re a rotter, Mr. C
You’re the king of sinful sots.
Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. C.

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. C.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You’re a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked hoss.
Mr. C

You’re a three decker saurkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce!

Comments on: "The Mr. C Song" (1)

  1. Heidi,

    I just read about Elizabeth and wanted you to know that our family will add her to our prayers. I love her cheer and her amazing strength and spirit. Four more voices will be sending prayers up for both Elizabeth and the rest of your family.

    Christy Vandersee

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