Weeks ago, as Elizabeth primped to perfection in the bathroom mirror, I asked her, “Elizabeth, do you know what makes you beautiful?” Without a pause she looked into the mirror puckered up and said, “Lipstick?” Chuckling I said, “No silly, your heart makes you beautiful.” She looked at me confused, thinking and wondering why in the heck it would not be lipstick? Of course, we had the conversation how beauty comes from within and so it goes, but little did I know how this would be such an important conversation played over and over again in our house over the next couple of weeks.
Elizabeth achieved another milestone this week in her fight against cancer. She starting losing her hair on Wednesday. The strong girl that she is… sat in front of the family room window on Saturday and brushed her hair until she made a giant birds nest on the floor next to her. What is a mom to do? Cry? Honest to God the Martha Stewart in me wanted to glue it back on. I’m not a saver by any means. I purge closets and bins all of the time, but for some crazy reason I felt the need to put her hair in a plastic bag and save it. It’s the hair I caress every night when I tuck her into bed, it’s the hair I help her wash every night before bed, it’s the hair that she won’t let me touch when she’s getting ready for school in the mornings, it’s the hair she just learned to put into a ponytail herself. Cry? Yes of course I cried.
Earlier that day I took big sister Kate to ballet, we made a stop at the ballet store to pick up some hairnets, when there it was… a message from God speaking directly at me. There hanging on a rack was a pink t-shirt with a little birdie on the front. The t-shirt was ok, but honestly I bought it because of the tag attached. The tag said “think positive”. I’ve been wearing it ever since. So when I get sad and want to cry because my baby is losing her hair, my husband says, “Heidi, what does your shirt say?” And so I “think positive” and all of the good to come from this…Elizabeth and I and our daily conversation about beauty, fancy hats, fun wigs, but most of all no more cancer. The chemo is doing what it needs to do and I will not cry about that. I will only celebrate. And so we did, we had a little celebration with fancy hats, Justin Bieber, Never say never movie (which by the way has a great message), and pizza lots of pizza. A special friend came and set up a hat boutique in our home yesterday. She brought tons of adorable hats with tons of adorable embellishments to clip on. Elizabeth, Kate and I went shopping for the most stylish hats out there. And I have to say Elizabeth will definitely be stylin’ at the clinic on Tuesday! Not to mention, a very special day of memories for us all. So when you are asked what makes you beautiful? Just know how Elizabeth would answer that question…”Beauty comes from your heart with a little bit of lipstick.”
Heidi, Brooke, Bryce, Kate and Elizabeth
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